Please Remove the Dark Cloud from the Colts ...and the Pacers While You Are at It.

I've recently moved back to Indy to be around my family and closest friends, who in reality are family, and I got to say...priiiiiiitty....prittttttty preeeeettty goooood.

One of my favorite activities is hanging with my 2 year old niece Bevan. I'm sitting there showing her pictures of cool animals on the computer like tigers, giraffe's, zebra's and her favorite snakes and it finally hit me.

I wish we lived in a world like the Backyardigans. Uniqua, Pablo, Tyrone, Tasha, and Austin have a way to take anything they come across and turn it into a happy feel good song. That is exactly what we need as Colts and Pacer fans right now.

Pablo

"And hey we got rid of every player...that was meeeeee----an and not niiiiiice....we've replaced them with all good and new citizens .....that love to do everything that is right."

I do believe making a move to replace idiots with solid people will be a major turning point for Larry's team. By the way Larry Bird in any top five best player argument ever....but I think in like 25 more years he will be one of the scariest looking dudes....I mean like old dude who looks like a vulchur.....I do think though he is changing things for the better.

Quick thoughts from one early look against a Detroit team that is good but sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stale.
Good but are they going to beat Lebron....or Boston? Noooope. They can beat the Pacers though and thus they were 10 point favorites at home...

Pacers beat that number....and here's why.

1. The point guard combo of Jarrett Jack and TJ Ford was an upgrade of 800 to the 27th power. Both can play....both are quick...Jack is strong and can get to the rim with contact and finish....Ford is little but has sweet finishing skills around the basket among bigger players.

2. Danny Granger played like a star or at least an All Star. We know Danny can shoot...we didn't know he could drive and keep driving to 12 free throw attempts. If he does that consistently ...well that's what NBA stars do everynight ...in and out when the jumper isn't always falling the line will keep you alive.

3. Brandon Rush can play. Ahhhhh, dude is built like Paul Pierce junior. He gets to the basket and can finish ...once the jumper starts being consistent...plus he defends....the upside is so choice if you have the means I highly recommend it.

4. Roy Hibbert is going to be an interesting project to watch...he had a spin move on the baseline that was Fake Olajuwon.

9er- Please stop running the offense through Troy Murphy in the high post. The guy gets his double double but god is it me or does dude look like he's in pain out there doing it...not pain in the sense he's hurt but pain in us watching his moves and ball handling abilities.

But all in all good debut without Dunleavy who is tied for your top scorer role. I think Indy fans are going to be peaking in on this team...if they can string some wins together....this city knows how to be a big league NBA town.

Uniqua

"We don't say mean things about Peyton...He's our leader and a good guy....Coach Dungy might be out of town til Thursday...we need to stick with him and here's why. "

False, Jim Irsay has some things to look at this off season. Whether or not you believe the rumor Dungy doesn't show many times till late in the week and his assistants run alot of stuff...or not....the fact of the matter is thinking about a change at least on the offensive side of the ball might be a shot of just what we needed for this team.

I'll tell you this right now. Tom Moore has been great. Any probably no one knows more about offense...Jesus the guy was with the Steeler's 70's dynasty...then the Lions in the Barry Sanders Herman Moore days, but and I can't help thinking of Jack Nickelson as the Joker....

"This town needs an enema"

Kind of feel that way about the Colts offense.

Regardless of all that garbage the horseshoe sits one game out of the wild card with New England in town. I know this, if there was one team I wanted to kick the crap out of to get us jump started it's Captain Hoody's Cheaters. As Colts fans we hate New England worse than that meal your mom made you eat as a kid 8 million times... we hate them more than waiting in line at the license branch for an hour, we hate them more than a screaming baby on an airplane with a flight of 3 or more hours.

All the Colts need is Peyton Manning to be Peyton Manning. That means stop calling the wrong audibles. That means stop under throwing Reggie Wayne on the Corner. That means if Marvin Harrison is getting bumped out of bounds every play get Gonzo in there. That means tell Joseph Addai to quit running like a 160 pound back and most of all it means.... quit throwing more interceptions than touchdowns.

Austin

"The Pacers are a bunch of good guys...and good guys will win 50 games... And the Colts are going on a longing winning streak and will appear in a playoff game... "

Man I wish everything could be as positive as the Backyardigans!

TV Worth Watching

Some new formatting up and away for the blog. Notice I just take out one superfluous "up" and I dodge copying Superman, thus creating my own super cool language-Peterman. Like that time when I worked for Peterman on Seinfeld.

(cut to scene of Seinfeld with Peterman trying on some of his clothes in front of the mirror and asking Peter Griffin for advice. Low angle boom shot starting on front foot of Peterman...swinging up from the floor and getting the 2 shot from Peterman's perspective into the mirror so we see both characters)

Peterman
Peeeter, WhaTTTT do you think OF this saaasssy delight like a bird Taaaking the worm cleeeean from the soooil...

Peter Griffin
(in a perplexed manner that is in act with a rare but quick Peter splash of brilliance.)

While I do agree, the rust brown colors, splattered against a canvas of earthtone greens and scary B movie blood red do say you Mr. Peterman....I must also insist that you think about that worm....and what if its all about the worm really chasing the bird?@#$ ...that damn chicken is invoking me for the last time...

Peterman
(excited)

Pure Brilliance Peter...Spot on.

(Peter staring out the window at his long standing foe...the chicken...Peter dashes thru the window and the chicken fight is on)

If you don't watch Family Guy this drivel probably has you thinking of me more stoned than Tommy Chong in Up in Smoke but if you do....I'm hoping its a least a serviceable karaoke rendition of something you might see Seth McFarlane write....and Peter Griffin say. You see McFarlane has some great devices in place that really turns his script into a daily write your own adventure.

Two of the devices were just used in the made up scene.

A. Over the course of the shows life Peter has had many flashback scenes. Anything from having a job as Lara Flynn Boyle's blanket to having a fart off contest with Michael Moore.

And 3. there is this reoccurring urge to have Peter fighting with a chicken. Of course there are alot of other variables that make the show good enough for FOX to give McFarlane the richest or at least one of the richest deals ever.

I think the biggest factor that draws me in are the allusions layered throughout the show to obscure pop culture. They are everywhere whether its pointing out a worthless Chevy Chase movie and how he completely sucks now, or, having Stewie go through an art museum set to a complete ripoff of Ferris Bueller's Day off when Cameron is staring at Sunday In the Park with George. It gets bigger and bigger, and bigger, and bigger till we just see one dot of the pointillism piece.

There was one episode that ended with the theme song playing to the original Incredible Hulk TV show and Stewie was on the side of the rode as a cartoon and everything else in the screen was the video they used for that show. Genius.

You know I'm sitting here asking myself why I like that stuff so much....and I really have no freakin clue. I just know I do. It's fun to see if my database of pop culture can make all the appropriate references. Hence, why I like the game Scene It so much and why I'm ready to play you anytime anywhere. Geez, Seth McFarlane would be a guy to have on your team.

On top of all this garbage the show really does have interesting characters. What other show do you watch where the dog and the baby are the smartest and probably your favorite characters?

I got a fever for more Stewie and the only cure is more cowbell. Having a little baby set to the backdrop of a brilliant aristocratic gay man is bold.

Brian the dog is an Ivy League graduate that likes to womanize and has pretty much drank every drink, done every drug, and seen a whole hell of a lot of idiocracy through the misadventures of his best friend Peter. I mean, just think about the last two character descriptions and then think about how easy and fun it would be to write for that!

Oh, Erin Andrews just popped on ESPN Giggitty gitty.

That of course homage to Glen Quagmire, who is Peter's neighbor and pretty much spends every moment of his life as the eternal playboy. One of Quagmire's finest moments was a scene when he was on The Bachelorette. He ruffies the girl in the hot tub and drags her face down scrapping the pavement to his room only to realize that he was on-camera. So he closes the door on her and then quickly re-opens the door to steal her shoe so he can sniff it in his room in order to quench his strange desires. You show me one guy that doesn't have a little Glen Quagmire in em' some where deep and dark and I'll show you a LIIIIIIIAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!

Kind of fitting using the Seinfeld setting to start the column. It was not planned but there are many cross connections and references in Family Guy to the hit 90's NBC show. Joe the crippled cop and neighbor is voiced by Patrick Warburton who of course was Putty on Seinfeld. You know...The Face Painter.

John O'Hurly AKA Peterman took a break from hosting Family Feud to lend his voice as a cult leader in a 99 episode of Family Guy called Padre de Familia. I really don't feel like listing all the mentions...you get my point.

Speaking of points...what is the point of this column. Not so sure anymore. However, I do know Family Guy is a show worth watching. Gotta Run, The Office is coming on....another show that is worth watching.