I know you want to... but don't go see the new Indiana Jones movie. The movie is soooo bad it made me want to go home and immediately watch the previous trilogy so that I could wash away any lasting memory I had of the Crystal Skull.
I wanted to make my mind assured that there is no possible way the same people who made Indy 1.2.3 could be responsible for this lame attempt to rekindle one of the all-time action/adventure movie magic franchises.
Unfortunately, I know Spielberg and Lucas were the ones who pooped this movie out. It pains me to criticize these film making legends. It really is almost like sacrilege. They are without question unique and brilliant filmmakers who have redefined and pushed the limits of what is possible in imaginative film making.
After the opening scene of Skull I immediately flashed to the Godfather boxset that includes comments from Coppola in which he laments his disgust for how the studio pushed him in ways on Godfather 3 that he didn't want to go. Like hiring a guy to come up with the kill sequences because Francis had no interest in elaborate assassination scenes.
This point clearly illustrated in Harrison Ford's fight scene in Skull with the big Russian. Having the Red swarmed away to death by killer ants fell painfully short of the magic that we saw in Indy's fight scene with the muscled and mustachioed man in Indy 1 that ended with him chopped up by an airplane blade.
And how bout those killer ants? It was a weak Lucas influenced digital attempt at trying to summon the thrill we got when watching Indy traverse the snake pit in part 1. The thing is...those were real snakes and no computer creation can match the fear stemmed from realism that we got from that scene.
Then there was Kate Blanchett's death at the end caused by the aliens. She basically wiggles a little bit while some light flickers and then poof, disintegration. Come on, how can you sell me that crap when my lasting memory of how death should be in the Indy franchise is the German guy with the glasses melting skin to bone at the hands of the arc's powers.
I hate to say this because Harrison Ford is one of my favorites. He is without question a great action/thriller leading man. However, as good as he looks for his age and he does look good...he looks just too old to buy into the athleticism and brawn we remember Indy having. His clothes are similar in look but baggier and looser...like something an old man would wear. Indy's coolest weapon...the whip.... is hardly used in any cool fashion in the new movie. Instead we get a steady dose of Shia Lebouf's switchblade.
Then there's Karen Allen coming out of nowheresville for the respawning of the Marian character. Loved her drinking fools under the table in part 1. Loved her making it with Jeff Bridges in Starman. Loved her sleeping with Donald Sutherland in Animal House. She scared me in Crystal Skull with a face that reminded me of being at a Palm Springs benefit in which every rich lady in the room seems to have a permanent smile due to overdone plastic surgery.
I texted one of my dearest friends at the conclusion of this movie. A guy who shared that original magic that the Indy series gave us. A movie magic that made us go home and immediately run outside to play Indiana Jones for hours end with jump ropes and broom handles turned into swords.
"Please tell me you thought that movie blew?"
"Fu..... awful. It reminded of James Spader in Stargate."
While that was a funny retort I must say Stargate with Spader even in its watered down Sci fi state is at least a 2/ 2.5 star movie. The Sci fi attempt Skull makes is more on par with Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
For years we as an audience have craved the raw and authentic movie magic that the Indy franchise brought. It was different than Star Wars... way more real... but with superhero/supernatural type characteristics.
The Nicolas Cage National Treasure movies are kind of a copy cat attempt. But the closest thing to matching the excellence that the original Indy series had in my opinion is Harry Potter. I know the Half Blood Prince is next.... but how good will Deathly Hallows be? It should come way closer to imagination land movie making than the Crystal Skull did.
I wanted to make my mind assured that there is no possible way the same people who made Indy 1.2.3 could be responsible for this lame attempt to rekindle one of the all-time action/adventure movie magic franchises.
Unfortunately, I know Spielberg and Lucas were the ones who pooped this movie out. It pains me to criticize these film making legends. It really is almost like sacrilege. They are without question unique and brilliant filmmakers who have redefined and pushed the limits of what is possible in imaginative film making.
After the opening scene of Skull I immediately flashed to the Godfather boxset that includes comments from Coppola in which he laments his disgust for how the studio pushed him in ways on Godfather 3 that he didn't want to go. Like hiring a guy to come up with the kill sequences because Francis had no interest in elaborate assassination scenes.
This point clearly illustrated in Harrison Ford's fight scene in Skull with the big Russian. Having the Red swarmed away to death by killer ants fell painfully short of the magic that we saw in Indy's fight scene with the muscled and mustachioed man in Indy 1 that ended with him chopped up by an airplane blade.
And how bout those killer ants? It was a weak Lucas influenced digital attempt at trying to summon the thrill we got when watching Indy traverse the snake pit in part 1. The thing is...those were real snakes and no computer creation can match the fear stemmed from realism that we got from that scene.
Then there was Kate Blanchett's death at the end caused by the aliens. She basically wiggles a little bit while some light flickers and then poof, disintegration. Come on, how can you sell me that crap when my lasting memory of how death should be in the Indy franchise is the German guy with the glasses melting skin to bone at the hands of the arc's powers.
I hate to say this because Harrison Ford is one of my favorites. He is without question a great action/thriller leading man. However, as good as he looks for his age and he does look good...he looks just too old to buy into the athleticism and brawn we remember Indy having. His clothes are similar in look but baggier and looser...like something an old man would wear. Indy's coolest weapon...the whip.... is hardly used in any cool fashion in the new movie. Instead we get a steady dose of Shia Lebouf's switchblade.
Then there's Karen Allen coming out of nowheresville for the respawning of the Marian character. Loved her drinking fools under the table in part 1. Loved her making it with Jeff Bridges in Starman. Loved her sleeping with Donald Sutherland in Animal House. She scared me in Crystal Skull with a face that reminded me of being at a Palm Springs benefit in which every rich lady in the room seems to have a permanent smile due to overdone plastic surgery.
I texted one of my dearest friends at the conclusion of this movie. A guy who shared that original magic that the Indy series gave us. A movie magic that made us go home and immediately run outside to play Indiana Jones for hours end with jump ropes and broom handles turned into swords.
"Please tell me you thought that movie blew?"
"Fu..... awful. It reminded of James Spader in Stargate."
While that was a funny retort I must say Stargate with Spader even in its watered down Sci fi state is at least a 2/ 2.5 star movie. The Sci fi attempt Skull makes is more on par with Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
For years we as an audience have craved the raw and authentic movie magic that the Indy franchise brought. It was different than Star Wars... way more real... but with superhero/supernatural type characteristics.
The Nicolas Cage National Treasure movies are kind of a copy cat attempt. But the closest thing to matching the excellence that the original Indy series had in my opinion is Harry Potter. I know the Half Blood Prince is next.... but how good will Deathly Hallows be? It should come way closer to imagination land movie making than the Crystal Skull did.
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